Josh Golden

josh golden – blogger

To survive an encounter with a Josh Golden you must first understand Josh Goldens. Forty-five miles west of Chicago you will find their breeding grounds. Here Josh  Goldens run through fields playing and hunting together. Throughout their time in  development on the breeding grounds, the average Josh will develop an eye for primitive filmmaking, a hatred for oranges, and a distinctive pigeon-toed posture.

At the age of twenty-three it is customary for a male Josh Golden to leave the breeding grounds and head west. What triggers this migration is still a mystery to scientists. Perhaps it’s an instinctual right of passage that nature has engraved in its genes, or maybe it is just an idiot.

Out of every ten Josh Goldens to make the move only one will survive. Some will wander into tar pits; some will spend an extended amount of time in Albuquerque New Mexico eating breakfast burritos; some of them will reach the ocean and continue walking. The one that survives will customarily find a cave and hole himself inside there, where he will repeatedly slam a stick against a rock in an ancient practice called “Rye-Ting,” leaving it’s cave in search of  it’s main life source, whiskey.

This particular Josh Golden is a freelance writer/director/editor currently residing in Los Angeles. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in Film from Columbia College in Chicago. Contact him at josh@pooporchocoloateblogs.com