Just popping by for a minute with an update from Suburban Detroit (and to give t.j.’s middle finger a rest). The Sav-On Drugs is open 24-hours now, y’all. If you’re looking for a supermarket at 2AM and you can’t locate a good nuclear fallout shelter, Sav-On is your next best bet to fill your grocery needs. They have as many as four different types of cereal! And only three are Rice Krispies! Even if it’s 2PM, Sav-On is still probably your spot, because get this: They closed the Kroger don’tcha know it! I know what you’re thinking: “WHAT?!?!?!” I said the same thing, only with more punctuation marks. And without the caps. Tacky. Anyway, Sav-On sells a bunch of different types of milk to go with your Krispies, most of them pretty boring; 2%, 1/2%, snooze%. But one stood out: Homo Milk. I asked the man behind the counter if the milk came from homos or turned you into one. He quickly and astutely replied, “Huh?” I think he thought I called him a homo, which is preposterous; I don’t know what type of milk he drinks. “Huh yourself,” I responded. “Sav-On is open 24-hrs for ignorance.” Then I paid for my bi-sexual lemonade and left the store forever until tomorrow.
My name is Ben and I’ll see you next week!
