1. I don’t recall the last time I signed a petition, stood for a cause, or even knew of one. Haven’t rallied or picketed in awhile. Virtually never gasp or guffaw at anything. But I’ve signed my name to Facebook movements insisting Betty White hosts everything from SNL to the Oscars to an orgy. I’ve supported the Yankees quest for a quicker million fans than the Red Sox. And I’ve helped the Red Sox in their quest to get a millions fans before the Yankees. (Don’t tell Facebook, I’m not a fan of either team.) It’s almost a shame Facebook doesn’t use its sway for the betterment of the world. I say “almost” knowing that if Facebook actually went political no one would use it anymore. 50% of young people are registered to vote. I can think of one young person not on Facebook, and she’s political! Betty White is as political as most of these kids get.
2. Let’s pump some political jams into this blog-in. And by “political jams” I mean music that sounds like it could be about political struggle but is actually about soccer. Music is an interpretable art, I choose to know a song is about one thing and still interpret it differently. Some call that the mark of genius. Geniuses call that the mark of stupid. Could a stupid guy cue his own mu’fuckin’ music? Probably.
While the song played I received word from stupid guy as to whether he can cue his own mu’fuckin’ music. His answer was: “Blarth.” So there.
3. SPOILER ALERT if you haven’t seen the season finale of 30 ROCK . . . and also if you’re about four years behind on SCRUBS. Jesus, man, catch up or erase the tivos. Your DVR is turning into a time capsule. Anyhoo, back to 30 ROCK . . . and old SCRUBS. It’s official: Elizabeth Banks is the tomboyish guest star you bring in to get accidentally impregnated by your male lead. And she’s always like, “I’m pregnant? Always thought this whole between my legs was a beer cozy.” First John Dorian. Now Jack Donaghy. Elizabeth Banks is the new face of unwanted, unladylike pregnancy. Also, she apparently has a thing for the highly fertile initials JD.
4. LOST series finale. Letterman had the exec producers on the other night for a Top Ten spoilers list. Rumor has it six of ten are true.
Even the LOST guys agree, Betty White is the new face of unwanted, unladylike politics. I’m expecting to be enthralled by the finale, but I’m also expected others to be really angry at the consecration of six years of confusion. That might be better than the episode itself. Interested to hear how many televisions are smashed after the finale. I’ll probably smash one regardless of the show, just to be a part of history. Oh man, what if the whole show turns out to be Locke’s anesthetic-induced spinal operation dream? People will be SO MAD. This is gonna be great. I’m gonna go on Facebook and vote for the finale to be a stinker.
My name is Ben, who’s the stupid guy now? Shut up.
