A couple years ago my friend Telly and I were trying to design a website that would utilize a personality algorithm so we decided to join the dating website okcupid.com, purely for academic reasons. True story. I’m not rationalizing having joined a dating website. I have nothing against dating websites, anymore than what I already had against dating and websites. A lot of my friends have had great success on those sites. Some have formed beautiful relationships. Others have formed bootiful relationships. I have one friend who uses match.com like it’s Netflix. She seems to have a pretty fun time. Dating sites just aren’t for me. And as I learned a couple years ago but forgot until recently, I am not for them either. After partaking in the algorithm at OkCupid they emailed me this personality profile:
Could the cartoon Manchild look any more like a pedophile while also looking just as much like a Mongoloid? I don’t think so. This is the perfect balance of retarded and creepy. That’s not me, ladies and gentleman. I’m here today to swear I’ve never touched a child or failed an IQ test. I find this description ludicrous, and the assertion that I’m a trouble-maker to be an egregious insult! I do own that pervy tard’s outfit, though. So take that for what you will.
For over a year now I’ve been taunting you with this funny flick called MYSTERY TEAM, the feature-film from DERRICK Comedy that I told you was hilarious but which most of you never got to see. Well, as much as I love taunting you, all good things must end. Occasionally, though, when a good thing ends an even better things takes its place, and that’s the case today: MYSTERY TEAM is available on DVD and Video On Demand for all the taunted world to see. Amazon, Netflix, Blockbuster, Roscoe’s Bootlegged DVDs; anywhere you get your movies, MYSTERY TEAM is there. No longer will you be the victim of movie bullies.
WARNING: THIS DVD CONTAINS AWESOME BONUS FEATURES SUCH AS:
Audio commentary with Derrick Comedy: Dan Eckman, Meggie McFadden, Dominic Dierkes, Donald Glover and DC Pierson
“The Making of Mystery Team” Featurette
Deleted Material
Preproduction Test Scene
“Who Is Wally Cummings?” Featurette
If any of those features frighten you please avoid this DVD. And this blog. And this life. Pussy.
To celebrate this big day here is the latest online sketch from DERRICK.
No one could’ve guessed when this sketch was shot that it would be exactly, word for word, the LOST Finale. Great minds think alike, yo. All you great minds out there thinking right now would be a lovely time for a pudding snack, I’m with youz. Meet you back here in five for MYSTERY TEAM.
